Time to get my creative juices floating again. I have been doing the video and audio format for so long now that it seems like the written format is not getting the love it deserves. It makes sense though since the written format takes the most time to create with how organized I have to make my thoughts. I can ramble on in the other ones but not this one. I know, first world problems in a third world country.
I was talking to a friend in Jamshedpur (Percy) a few days ago about the deets in the big man city and got to know about an interesting development. There was a get together of some of my friends last week due to the 30th wedding anniversary of Mr. Hunter's parents and from the photos, it seemed like a grand old money level party but I digress.
In the party, Percy wanted to have some fun at my expense the reason of which I still do not know. I swear I have never made fun of him and bhabi ji ever with the mama y papa jokes in front of others but I believe it's time to change that. Coming back to topic, while Percy was choosing which part of my life to make fun of, he chose the only one which has no basis in real life due to my beliefs. He struck the proverbial arrow into my (non-existent) love life.
After a certain point in life, if a person is still single, people really do make up anything about who their crushes might be based on if the person has interacted with the other person only once. This asshole really told the entire friend group that I have/had (don't remember this part) a crush on unknown maiden 1 even though UM1 has a whole fucking boyfriend. I hope you, the reader, understand the mortal danger this guy has put me in when I have never even harbored even an inkling of affection for this woman. I also believe it's safe to say that for all intents and purposes, I do not know this woman. Fuck this shit man.
Now, all of the above is normal and if this is where things ended, I might not have written about it. I have a thick enough skin and psychological warfare like this is something I can tank. What I had a little trouble in "tanking" is what happened after this. After everyone stared awkwardly at Percy for what seemed like eternity, which I would add is not the reaction he was hoping for, unknown maiden 2 claimed that she thought that I was "fucking gay".
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I don't think she also meant it in a haha funny gay is an insult way, she genuinely believes that I am gay. Now, before I say anything else, I want to make it very clear that I have no problem with anyone with any orientation and way of life. You do you, live and let live etc., etc. But what the fuck, man? How did this happen? And the weird part, this is not the first time a woman has concluded that I am gay since I do not seem to care enough to pursue girlfriends. Coincidentally, all the women who have claimed that I am gay were cheated on/left by their boyfriends after ~10 years of relationship, also all of them were close to marriage with both sets of parents being involved before the breakup. I am not a petty person but if I was...
Now, those of you who know me personally, you my philosophy, I am a loner. I don't really like being in other people's company and I have publicly claimed that I don't believe in the concept of love or marriage. The counter arguments which I usually receive for these claims are you need someone for companionship and ahem "releases". To these, my usual answers are 1) I do not need companionship, I really enjoy my own company and can keep myself entertained. Social media is also a plus where I also do not need to think about difficult things for too long. Couple that with work taking the rest of my time and bam, there is no time remaining for another person which brings me to 2) Yes, at the end of the day I am a man and somedays the STRAIGHT animal instincts are hard to ignore and to that I say that, if one door is sealed shut willingly, there are other doors which open up. No, I am not going to explain further.
Then there is always the argument that you cannot live like this forever and that you should get married. Since you do not believe in love, go for an arrange marriage. To that I say, first how is your arranged marriage going you fuckwit? With both sets of families crying with court cases and FIRs? Are you happy now? When I calm down a little, I then explain to said fuckwit that all marriage is a sham. Why would anyone who has a modicum of intelligence, want to involve the government into a relationship? There is no upside to this, at least from where I'm seeing it. And keep your companionship and best friend arguments. Explained companionship already and I already have friends and some even qualify for the best. Not sure, any other person can de-throne them.
Another argument which sometimes come is that all your friends will also get married and not have time for you, you will need someone then. To that I say, what kind of a fucked up Pyramid scheme is going on here? Since someone else is getting married, I should too? If all your friends jump off a bridge to their death (which is still better than marriage IMO), would you too? That's what I thought. This argument goes both ways.
Oh yes, how can I forget the baby argument -> Don't you want a baby? No. Don't want one, won't ruin their life by bringing them into this fucked up place. I'm actually doing them a solid by not bringing them here. They should thank me for it even though they are non existent.
I should go to the conclusion now since I might lose my cool while writing this itself, lol. Now that I had time to think about this and organize my thoughts (I just deleted 6 paragraphs here), I think I get where other people come from when they claim that I am gay. They do not know me and fortunately or unfortunately they will never get to know me or speak to me ever again. I know that is not healthy and little toxic but I do not care. I forgive these people for not understanding where I come from and I will try to have a thicker skin in the future but for now, I think I have calmed down a little and can even joke about it.
Hell of a way to understand some of my insecurities as well and for some reason which is not clear to me, I am sharing it with all of you. Maybe I will regret writing this in the future but for now, this has helped me at least start the journey of dispelling this insecurity. Will end it here with an advice to myself which I have given to others as well - "Don't heed words from someone you would not take advice from".
Thanks all so much for reading and as always, I will see you, in the next blog. Buh-Bye!
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